Tom had a way of lighting up every room he entered. When he first moved into his residential home at Aspire of WNY, it didn’t take long for the staff to see just how much joy, personality, humor, and heart he carried with him.
“He was bubbly,” said Josephine Hesse, a Direct Support Professional at Aspire of WNY who worked closely with Tom for years. “He had good days and bad days like anyone else, but he always found a way to make you smile. He loved to joke around and tease people in a playful way that just screamed Tom.”
Getting to know Tom took time; he didn’t warm up to people right away. But once he did, it meant something. “When he asked when you were coming back, that’s how you knew he liked you,” Josephine shared.
When asked how she would describe Tom to someone who had never met him, Josephine didn’t hesitate: “He was a lovely person. He always made his needs known. He loved being shaved—he knew he looked nice and would be so happy afterward. He was just kind. He’d joke around with his housemates and yell at them to ‘go home’ in his playful way.”
Tom had a list of favorite things that never failed to bring him joy: Polka music, the Buffalo Bills, ice skating, playing in the Touching Bases softball league, chicken sandwiches—really, anything chicken. “He always wanted a chicken sandwich,” another staff member recalled with a laugh.
One memory Josephine holds close is how he always asked when she would be back. “It made me feel special,” she said. “Even if I was just calling the house, he’d be the one to answer. You could tell when he missed you.”
Tom also shared a special bond with another resident, David Marranca, whom he jokingly called “Davey Crockett.” “Tom would always yell at him to go to bed,” Josephine recalled. “It was this ongoing joke they had. They’d been together for a long time.”
Tom’s passing left a deep mark on everyone who knew him. “He reminded me to be kind. You never know who won’t be here tomorrow,” Josephine said. “The people we support are just like everyone else. They see everything. If they have a good relationship with you, you know you’re doing something right. Just do the best you can.”
Tom taught those around him so much about patience, connection, and gentleness. “He was the sweetest, most gentle soul. If he liked you and trusted you, he showed it.”
The night Tom passed, staff gathered at the home to share stories and memories, laughing through their tears. “The way he played, the way he joked—that’s how he’ll be remembered.”
Even now, his presence lingers—in the quiet moments, in the inside jokes that still get passed around, in the empty seat at the dinner table that everyone still glances toward.
Tom may be gone, but his smile, humor, and light will forever live on in the hearts of all who were lucky enough to know him.
